comfort

by Eichlers

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about

PROD. 1337DREAMz
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All proceeds from the sale of 'comfort' will be donated to the TRANS WOMEN OF COLOR COLLECTIVE, a DC-based organization that serves to:

"uplift the narratives, lived experiences and leadership of trans and gender non-conforming people of color, [their] families and comrades as we build towards collective liberation for all oppressed people."

www.twocc.us/black-trans-health-initiative/
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credits

released March 13, 2019

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Eichlers Salt Lake City, Utah

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Track Name: bad timing
in my head i'm still fifteen with no responsibilities. i still get nervous when i speak, i taste the blood between my teeth.

i guess it's just bad timing.
Track Name: love me forever
if i got it tattooed on my neck, would you love me forever? i've been feeling out of it for months, my emotions and the weather. dark clouds gather around, blacking out in this town. i stressed myself too thin, not enough to go around.

when i come home, i talk slow. i'm stressed out, it might snow. the phone calls as you drive home. i don't answer again so i guess ill go it alone.

i will never make you happy.

i can't sleep. i'm such a wreck. i cant leave my bed and i can't get dressed.
Track Name: at a distance
was it something i said? cuz yeah, sometimes these "s" words cut like swords: settled, safe secure.

sobbing so sure of something i swore i saw this summer. in the 925 i felt alive, but in the 801 i just feel numb.

keep me at a distance. keep me at a states length. i fall apart looking at my phone. it's just another night in this empty home.
Track Name: driving home
driving home i want to crash my car until the 201 becomes my concrete coffin. ice the roads, just let it snow. i'll lose my grip.

how come all my friends just want to die?

k n i v e s, show me why my life is a mess. i pick and choose what to do, but i still cant get through to you. i f u c k e d up every chance you gave to me. we settled down & evened out, but i don't feel at home right now.

thread the needle to fix the seams i picked apart so recklessly. yr living in the dining room. i want to die in the living room. on the floor i'm a bawling mess, knees pulled up to my chest.
Track Name: track five but every time they say "i love you" it gets harder to make a decision
i can feel you breathe in, grinning like yr teething. start the second season. check the scorecard, yeah we're even. i drew lines to connect the freckles on yr back. the rigid line you call yr spine & how you don't touch yr neck.

if i counted all the hours that you spent waiting for me to make up my mind (you put yr life on pause) i don't know if i could do the same.
Track Name: ballpoint
clench the pen between yr teeth,so study me. call out my name in yr sleep, make fun of me.

i'm weird & inconvenient, but you swore you didn't mean it. ohmygod are you forreal? i'm the lifesized toy in yr happy meal? ohmygod i'm so tired of this.

yr always so quick to point the finger, but the nail is always bending backward. and the bed's all bloody. and the skin peels back to reveal the bone.

...that's everything i remember, as july collides with december. my plectrum heart picks sides. yr full of shit, but so am i. so let's never talk about it, pretend the summer just didn't happen. everything that i felt settled in was gone.
Track Name: 10.26
i swear those songs are cursed, but they're scratched into our souls. and the words run red with guilt, like yr bloodied vocal folds.

i couldn't sleep when i got home, so terrified of what tomorrow would hold. yr weeping whisper in my ear, just charge yr phone & let's get out of here.

what happened in the basement? what happened at the show?i know you kinda died tonight. but the songs we wrote this summer, they kinda saved my life. please just fucking stay alive.
Track Name: every day in february (feat. FLORALxPRINTTE)
pretend i'm okay, i'm not. i'm just a passing thought. eight hours every day, i pretend i'm okay. i think i'm numb, but then i feel it. i'm always running from the real shit.

i said it's fine, just let it go.

i just want to be a part of something. i just want to be yr spine. i just want some sleep.
Track Name: me IRL
the next time is never the last time.
Track Name: indelible
between the solstice & the stars, we collide in two parked cars. fit my heart inside yr skull until we're 99 years old. if i tweet something i don't mean, i'm sorry if it hurts yr feelings. i swear i'm done making excuses. i woke up wednesday fucking useless.

from liberated tributaries to the codependent sea, i hear the words yr saying but i don't recognize that they're about me. some things never change. just like that it snaps right back to the marks on yr skin, that's how it begins. sigh tonight under poison skies.

these heartbeats leave me senseless, til i'm art in a dark apartment. i know i'm difficult to appreciate, but maybe there's comfort in just knowing that i'm there.

i swear i never meant to be an inconvenience. if i promise not to change, will you love me forever?

that's all i'm gonna say. ok?

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